A Beautiful Friendship
by seifzellsquall
Summary: What happens when Paine and Vincent meet? The beginning of a beautiful but gory friendship. Written in response to something that was stated in a fellow author's profile. Mild CidVin and cursing. Under revision.
1. The Beginning

Okay, folks, I lied. I'm gonna keep writing until I die. This story was inspired by FFlove190's profile, in which she wonders whether Paine and Vincent would get along. Thank you, FFlove, for unknowingly giving me this crazy idea!

* * *

Two sets of crimson eyes stared into each other, unblinking. 

"Paine, what are you doing?"

"Vincent?"

The two combatants looked away, staring at their teammates.

"Yes, Yuna?"

"What, Cloud?"

Yuna and Cloud jumped. Vincent looked puzzled. Paine only stared, emotionless.

"Well, you two were kinda staring."

"And Vincent was glowing red. That's not good."

"I was glowing? Hm. Apparently Chaos wants blood." Vincent glared pointedly at Cloud.

"It's not gonna be easy to take him down." Vincent glanced at the owner of the voice and smiled. Paine grinned and pulled out her sword. "So we're gonna have to work together on this one." Vincent's grin broadened.

"Cloud," He said, drawing the Death Penalty, "Run."

As the bullets flew, Vincent and Paine realized that this would turn out to be a beautiful friendship.


	2. Random Acts of Violence

Vincent and Paine looked over to their teammates. Cloud was sporting many bruises and cuts. Vincent grimmaced as he spotted Rikku and Yuffie.

"Do you want to kill them, or shall I?"

"You take the ninja, I'll take the thief."

"The difference would be?"

"The ninja dresses less like a whore."

"I don't know, I think she kinda resembles those surfer girls in Australia."

"Surfer girls? How would you know what a surfer girl looked like?"

"I dated one."

"Lucrecia was a surfer?"

"No, but the girl before her was. She was also a druggie, which was why we broke up."

"I see. Walking the straight and narrow, were we?"

"No, I just didn't like her friends trashing my house."

"Always the considerate one, you are."

"You're any different?"

"Point taken."

The two fell silent for a few brief moments.

"Paine?"

"What?"

"What do you think it would take to severely freak the twitchy twins out?"

"Rikku and Yuffie?"

"No, Yuna and Tifa. Of course I meant Rikku and Yuffie!"

"Touchy, touchy. Well, I think it'd only take a few well placed lizards, some tar, and a barrel of feathers each."

"Tar and feathers?"

"I've always wanted to tar and feather someone."

"It's not as fun or as easy as they make it sound."

"You tarred and feathered anyone?"

"Hojo. And President Shinra. Hojo twice. He freaked when I told him that it wouldn't wash out of his lab coat."

Vincent hunched over, imitating Hojo's voice.

"What? Damn! That's the fifth one this week! Note to self: Blood and tar do NOT wash out!!"

Paine chuckled.

"You're something, Vin."

"A good something, or a bad something?"

"Little bit of both. Depends on your mood."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."

The two continued to survey their teams.

"So, you take Rikku, I take Yuffie?"

"You got it, vamp-boi."

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever you say, Dracula, just get on with it."

Vincent rolled his eyes and tossed a rock at Yuffie's head. It connected solidly.

"Ow! Hey!"

"Yuffie, Rikku."

"What, you psychotic maniacs?"

Vincent and Paine grinned. They spoke one line in unison before setting the game afoot:

"Run."


	3. Soda and Chocolate Pudding

"What the hell are you staring at, Vin?"

"You."

"Why?"

"Lack of better things to do."

Cid sighed heavily, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. He looked up, eyes catching Vincent's as they began their game.

"So you annoy me?"

Vincent shrugged.

"One doesn't spend two years around Yuffie and not pick some bad habit up."

Cid chuckled.

"Yeah? So, what's my bad habit?"

"You stare at my ass when you think I'm not looking."

Cid's smile faltered. Vincent grinned evilly.

"What, you thought I didn't notice?"

"Actually…"

Vincent's grin grew.

"It's alright, Cid. I didn't mind much."

"Key word in that sentence being much, Highwind. He's been bitching about it for the past few days though." Paine walked up to the two men, handing them each a can of soda.

"Thanks," Cid said, opening his. Vincent simply nodded, doing the same.

Paine laughed when the two were sprayed by the fizz. Vincent and Cid glared at her. She only shrugged.

"Paine, I'm going to kill you."

"Come on, Vincent, lighten up. I'm sure Cid'll help you clean it up!" she taunted, running away quickly. Vincent looked at Cid, who had gone red.

"Well," he said, trudging over to the blonde man, "What do we do now?"

"Get cleaned up?" Cid suggested, looking Vincent over.

"Splendid idea. Your room or mine?"

* * *

Later that evening… 

Paine looked up from her game of checkers, sensing that something was definitely wrong.

"Paine? What's wrong?" her opponent asked, a bit worried.

"Oh, it's nothing, Nanaki. Your move."

Paine had been startled to learn that Nanaki could play checkers, what with the fur and paws. Of course, it was also shocking to learn that he could do linear equations in his head, but that's different. Nanaki simply moved one piece, jumping three of her pieces and landing at the other side of the board.

"King me."

"How do you always do that?"

"Luck."

Paine snorted. _Yeah, right. Luck my ass,_ she thought. _He's probably smarter than Cloud and Yuna combined. Although that wouldn't take much…_ Paine grinned at that thought.

"Um, Paine? You might want to run."

"Why?"

"Because Cid and Vincent have a huge bowl of chocolate pudding suspended over your head."

SPLAT.

"Thanks for the warning, Nanaki. I suggest you run before I skin you."

"Suggestion noted and followed," Nanaki said, running as fast as he could in the direction of the Highwind.

"Payback, Paine."

"I know."

She smiled, looking more than a little pained.

"But did you have to waste that much chocolate pudding?"

Cid grinned and nodded. Vincent--the chocolate lover that he is--sympathized.

"Don't worry; we'll make you some more pudding later. After all, our soda from earlier didn't exactly go to waste…" Vincent trailed off as a blush colored Cid's cheeks

"Good."

"Thanks for that, by the way."

Paine smiled.

"Any time. What are friends for?"


	4. Farplane Visit

"So, refresh my memory: Why are we going to the Farplane again?"

Paine rolled her eyes and turned to her traveling partner.

"We've been hired to check out what the villains are doing."

"And, just why exactly do we care what they're doing?"

"Cloud's paying us a thousand gil an hour."

"Oh. So, we're gonna go be idiots with dead people and get paid for it?"

Paine nodded.

"If we live."

Vincent froze.

"What do you mean by that?"

Paine unsheathed her sword.

"The fiends on the Farplane are tough. They could kill you without even thinking about it."

Vincent gulped.

"Oh, shit."

"'Oh, shit,' is right. The demon ones are particularly nasty. They are invulnerable to physical attacks."

Vincent grinned, showing off his fangs. He tugged on his gloves1.

"Then we'll just have to fight fire with fire. Chaos has been craving blood for some time now."

* * *

Later… 

Vincent flopped down into the field of flowers, laughing.

"Man, that was fun!"

"Maybe for you, you masochist."

Vincent smiled up at Paine.

"I'm not a masochist; I'm a sociopath! I like anyone's pain!"

"You haven't changed a bit, Valentine."

Vincent struggled to see the owner of the voice, twisting his neck in all sorts of painful directions. He finally sat up when he realized it wasn't working. His eyes glinted when he saw who it was.

"Hojo."

"Vincent."

The two men glared at each other intensely. Suddenly, Vincent cracked a smile and hugged the other man tightly.

"Hojo!2"

Hojo sweatdropped, patting Vincent on the shoulder.

"Hello, Vincent. I missed you too."

Paine's jaw hit the ground.

"But, aren't you two supposed to hate each other?"

Hojo and Vincent looked at each other and began to laugh. Hojo took off his glasses and wiped away the tears.

"Wherever did you get that idea?"

"Yeah, we've always been friends."

Paine looked the pair over. They made quite a nice picture: Vincent draping his arm around Hojo's shoulders, and Hojo with one arm around Vincent's waist.

Whoa, back up. Arm around waist? Error. Does not compute. Vincent is with Cid. Did Vincent and Hojo have a _thing_ back in the day?

"You two are acting awfully friendly. I wonder what Cid would say if I told him his boyfriend is fooling around with a dead guy?"

Paine grinned evilly as she watched the color drain out of Vincent's face.

"You wouldn't."

"Wanna bet?"

Vincent sighed, stepping away from Hojo.

"Sorry. I'm in another relationship now."

Hojo nodded.

"So I've seen. You and Highwind make the most interesting couple, especially when it's a boring Friday night and nothing else worth watching is on the commsphere."

"You've been watching us?"

Hojo nodded once again. Vincent swatted at him.

"Voyeur."

"Boredom."

Vincent sighed.

"So, do you know where the villains are?"

"Sure. They're in the next field over."

Paine and Vincent began walking in the direction Hojo had pointed out. As Vincent passed, Hojo grabbed him, kissing him full on the lips. After a few seconds, he pulled away, smiling. He ruffled Vincent's hair.

"Take care of yourself, love."

Vincent blushed, leaning in to kiss Hojo softly.

"Only if you promise not to watch Cid and I ever again."

Hojo smiled, releasing Vincent3. Vincent walked over to Paine, who had been waiting at the edge of the floating island that held the field of flowers. She raised one eyebrow. Vincent only blushed and kept walking.

* * *

"…and then they found him, with a hole through his heart. Nothing was officially determined, but there were those sakura petals everywhere4…" 

Vincent cringed.

"I know that voice…"

The two adventurers steeped into the field of flowers, and immediately wished that they hadn't.

"Oi5, who's there?"

"Oh! It's Vinny! Ohayo6, Vinny!"

"Hello—keep in mind that I'm using the next term loosely—gentlemen."

They were truly a sight to behold. Sephiroth was eated across a table from Seymour, who was seated adjacent to Auron. Kuja was hanging onto Sephiroth's left arm, and Zack was sitting in his lap. Sephiroth had his arm around Rufus's waist. The most interesting part of this was that Sephiroth had a stick of chocolate pocky sticking out of the side of his mouth. He looked very much like Ban from Get Backers in this environment7.

"Yo, Vin, my man! How you doin'?"

"Cut the crap, Seph. We're here to check on you. Cloud says hi."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

"That kid is stuck on me, isn't he?"

"No, actually, he's found someone else."

Sephiroth twitched.

"Two someones, actually."

Sephiroth twitched again.

"That little slut."

"Actually, I think he's quite content with them. You probably know them, so I won't tell you who they are."

Sephiroth's eye began to twitch uncontrollably.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Be my guest, but let him pay us first. After all, checking on you _was_ our mission."

"Fine."

* * *

Later, on Besaid beach… 

Cloud fidgeted.

"Why do I get the feeling that some evil prescence is drawing nearer?"

"Hey! Vincent and Paine are back!"

Cloud sighed.

"And they brought a friend!"

Cloud froze, turning slowly in the direction the voice came from.

Uh oh. Cloud knew that hair. Damn, Sephiroth was back to kill him! Must scream like a little girl and beg for mercy if he decides it's stabby time8!

"Oh, Cloud…"

Shit! Run, you little sissy boy! Run as if your life depended on it, which it probably does!

"Hi, Sephy."

Sephiroth grabbed Cloud's arm, dragging him towards the Highwind.

"I have a bone to pick with you."

"Will this discussion involve pain?"

"Plentiful amounts of it."

"Well, just don't break any of my bones, okay? I'll let you do anything you want to me, as long as you don't break any of my bones."

Paine and Vincent grinned evilly as the two men disappeared.

"Well, Cloud's gonna be hurting for a while."

"Do you think Seph can stay mad at him?"

"Nope. The first time he screams, Seph'll be apoligising and kissing whatever he hurt."

"That could end up looking very awkward.9"

"You have no idea."

* * *

Okay! Author's notes: 

1 Reference to Get Backers. Before Ginji shocks people, he tugs his gloves on a little tighter.

2 Vincent drawing out Hojo's name.

3 Notice Hojo never said yes.

4 Inspired by a line from the fic "An Unlikely Partnership" in the Get Backers section of

5 Hey

6 Good morning

7 So sue me, I always saw Seph as a sort of gay pimp. This only reinforces it.

8 He doesn't get mad, he gets stabby.

9 I'll say.


End file.
